Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable

These are challenging times. Every single one of us has likely contended with some measure of stress or emotional discomfort during lockdown. For many, such experiences can be immense stumbling blocks. But author and speaker Ben Aldridge will tell you that these experiences can be starting points for enduring personal growth.  

Recently, Ben joined us online for a talk with our Senior School pupils. In it, he offered a wealth of advice on facing — even embracing — adversity and the empowering lessons we can learn from it. Ben shared with our pupils how he had long suffered from crippling anxiety. He was plagued with low self-confidence and regularly experienced panic attacks. He eventually looked to the ancient wisdom of the Greek and Roman Stoic philosophers. These thinkers espoused overcoming destructive emotions by approaching our experiences with objectivity, confronting our fears head-on, turning our attention to the present moment and focusing only on the things that we can control.

Ben set out to identify the boundaries of his comfort zone and then expand them. His techniques ranged from the gruelling (swimming in a frozen lake to learn how to withstand physical discomfort) to the absurd (taking a banana for a walk to overcome his fear of looking foolish). He started tapping into his growth mindset, finding new skills to learn — everything from origami to juggling. He even subjected himself to a variety of revolting foods. It was slow work, and there were plenty of setbacks. But gradually, he learned How to be Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable, which ultimately became the title of his first book.

When the UK into lockdown at the outset of the pandemic, Ben saw it as an opportunity to put even more of his ideas into practice. For instance, he climbed the height of Mount Everest in his own home, walking up and down the stairs several thousand times. He completed a marathon without even opening his front door; he simply ran laps in his garden. With this in mind, he offered a few suggestions for how our pupils could cultivate more comfort amid discomfort. He recommended taking cold showers, eating less than appetizing food, regularly engaging in any kind of physically challenging activity and writing a list of things that take them out of their comfort zones. He also suggested following in his footsteps and taking that pet banana out for a brisk walk and maybe even adding to the absurdity with a silly outfit.  

As lockdown persists, Ben’s message of resilience in the face of hardship is especially resonant. For the sake of public health and safety, we have all ceded some measure of control in our lives. We cannot control where we go and we cannot control when this will end. But we can control our response to the current situation. This does not mean denying or suppressing our sadness or frustration. Rather, it means acknowledging it — even welcoming it — and learning how we can become stronger from it.  

Read Ben Aldridge's book How to be Comfortable with being Uncomfortable to learn ways to overcome adversity