Maintaining mindfulness and wellbeing

While adults are not immune to the stresses of an upset to their everyday lives – such as major changes in setting, routine and constant witnessing of dramatic reports presented by the media – we have an ability to rationalise these in a way that children cannot. Jo Evans Director of Wellbeing It is fair to say that for some, especially our youngest pupils, the impact that the COVID-19 outbreak has had on their lives will be one of the biggest challenges that they have had to face so far. How we help them manage this time is important, not just in terms of their learning, but also in terms of enabling them to process and understand what is happening and how they feel about it.   Children (and adults) can experience a variety of reactions to stressful situations which can sometimes include:

• Irritability
• Sleep-related problems
• Nightmares or bedwetting in younger children
• Aggression
• Withdrawal
• Separation anxiety

  It seems ironic that at a time when patience is most likely to be fraught, it is very important to be mindful of your own reactions in order to help your child be mindful of theirs. As with many things, there is no magic wand that can be waved at a problem, but there are steps that you as parents can take to ensure that you are supporting your children effectively.   Filter access to media such as TV and the internet: It is doubtful that anyone has escaped the images and video that has been coming out of areas affected by COVID-19 but it is advisable to ensure that children are only exposed to images that will help with their positive understanding of a situation, as opposed to those that could sensationalise it or create unnecessary anxiety.   Talk to your children about what is happening: It is important that you have conversations with your children, regardless of their age, about what is happening. Keep conversations factual, but age appropriate. Children will have questions and you may not be able to answer them all completely, but if you can’t provide a ready answer then say that you will do some research and find out more.   Encourage your child to express how they are feeling: With older children, talking about their feelings will be easier as they will have developed a broader vocabulary to do this. The difficult thing might be getting them to talk to you in the first place! However, don’t pressure your child to talk, instead let them know that you are willing to talk when they feel ready. Perhaps suggest another family member or friend who they might feel comfortable talking to, and don’t be offended if this is the case; pre-teens and teens often struggle to express their emotions to parents. Younger children may not be able to express their feelings as easily, as they may not be equipped with the necessary vocabulary and emotional maturity yet, and may also struggle to recognise certain emotions in relation to what is going on around them. Using drawing, role play or telling stories is a good way to encourage them to express their feelings.   Keep a routine: We know that humans are creatures of habit and much of the stress and anxiety they feel comes from changes in routine. Take time to build a daily schedule involving online learning, exercise, chores and cooking (a great way to develop new life skills) as well as movies or board games. Allow your child the opportunity to build various elements into the schedule with you, to give them a sense of control over their day.Be careful not to over schedule, however. Keep some time free where your child can choose to do something based on how they feel at that moment in time.   Take care of yourself: Parents need to look after themselves too. Managing this much change while helping others is no easy task. Ensure that there is a safe place for you to talk about how you are feeling and where you can seek support. Make time in your daily schedule to have time to yourself.   Release the pressure: Many members of our community currently find themselves away from home, possibly separated from loved ones and managing their children’s learning while working from a distance, often without adequate resources. While it’s natural to want to do everything right away, prioritise important tasks and don’t feel like you have to maintain exactly the same expectations and standards that you keep at home. It’s also ok to ask for help, or say that you simply can’t manage everything immediately. It does not reflect poorly on you or your child if tasks are not complete.   "People who are never challenged by life don't have the opportunity to learn how to overcome adversity, which enables them to develop coping strategies, identify who the important members of their social network are, and feel competent after they make it through."   Professor of Psychology, Roxane Cohen Silver, PhD, the University of California.   Mindfulness and meditation If you have the time, space and inclination, you might want to try and build some mindfulness and meditation time into your day. This is something we have been trialling at Wellington in a more dedicated manner during the final weeks of the previous term. With the helpful addition of the dome tent that pupils may have recognised already from their VR-based lessons in science, I’ve been able to run several mindfulness and meditation sessions for pupils as a means of easing the pressures of exams and their daily lives.   The dome serves two purposes – it creates a calming environment where it’s easy for pupils to block out the outside world, and the inner dome is the ideal surface to project scenes conducive to meditation, along with appropriate background music. Pupils’ firm favourites so far include outer space scenes, rugged mountain ranges and, of course, tropical island beaches! The response from pupils in these early sessions has been very encouraging and I’m looking forward to expanding them once we are back and settled into school life. The good news is that, while helpful, you don’t need a dome to meditate successfully. Even if you’re not at home, it’s possible to create the right environment for self-reflection. Just bear the following pointers in mind and you may quickly find that even a very brief session can prove effective in enhancing your mood and reducing stress.   1: Try to create a quiet, calming space to meditate. Any background sounds or smells that you find calming are often helpful in creating the right environment.   2: Remove any sources of distraction. Principally we’re talking about your mobile phone! Generally speaking though, take any tech or distracting items out of the meditation space before you start. If time is limited and you need your phone to set an alarm, place it somewhere discreetly out of sight so it doesn’t distract you.   3: Don’t get too focused on the time. The idea is to not overcomplicate the process; you want to just take some quiet, calming time to yourself, that’s all. If you only have 10 minutes, that’s fine, if you want to linger for an hour or more, that’s equally fine. Focusing on ‘getting it right’ or ‘maximising your meditation time’ somewhat defeats the purpose of meditating. Just pick a time that suits you and relax into it. Hopefully these very simple ideas can help lead you to having some useful and relaxing sessions. Always remember that the objective is to simply take time to yourself for beneficial reflection. This can be used to direct your thoughts towards anything going on in your life that you wish to explore – important tasks or ambitions, worries and stresses, relationships and feelings, these things are all fertile grounds for a spot of quiet self-reflection.   Stay safe, stay calm and support one another during this trying time. I look forward to seeing you all back in school soon.   More relevant articles : We are Wellington [Online] | Learning wherever we are Discovering and exploring dance at Wellington Insights | In the pursuit of happiness